Friendships are one of the most rewarding and important parts of life, but unfortunately, there are times when a bond we create with another
person slowly begins to deteriorate and a certain friendship stops
bringing emotional reward and joy. Quite simply, spending time with this
person begins to feel as if it's doing more harm than good.
It can be challenging to recognize the damage caused by a toxic friendship, especially if you've known and cared about the person for a long time. But if you've resolved to be happier and healthier, looking at your relationships is a good place to start.
Some relationships are complex but you have to consider one crucial point: "Am I being honored and am I honoring the person?" Conflict happens when a person is not feeling honored in a relationship. And I think this goes for all types of relationships, whether platonic, romantic or professional.
In a harmful relationship, we may feel the friend is insulting, critical, needy, petty or selfish. A friend may ask for honest advice and then become angry when you deliver it, or do the opposite of what you suggest. A toxic friend may persist in giving unsolicited advice, or talk only about their own life and problems without considering your needs and feelings. Sometimes a friend may burden you with his or her own problems, whether it's job, money, or relationship woes -- but not offer any support in return.
This is so true and I find that their are lop-sided friendships that I need to take a look at!
Because these relationships are draining, it is time to drift from them and move on! There is just no time in my life for the drama. I need the give and take and the balance that relationships give you!
"If every time I'm talking with
someone they are saying things like 'this is awful, this always happens
to me' this is a red a flag of negativity. Certainly, people go
through stuff, and I don't want to drop a friend just because
they're having a rough patch. GOD knows I've had mine, but when there's a consistent negative
pattern, I need to make a change.
It turns out the burden of a toxic friendship doesn't just damage your psyche -- it's can be harmful to your long-term health. I read that somewhere! It makes sense! We know that positive people lift us up and negative people bring us down!
I think in my core people, there are three types of friendships that scare me and are unhealthy. Friends who pick fights, friends who compete with me, and friends who are clingy and demanding of too much time and attention. If I find spending time with a certain friend fits one of those descriptions or makes me feel rotten for whatever reason, it may be time to cut that person out of my life. It's time to break that cycle, but nothing about it makes me feel good. Only sad, because I value my friendships and people in general!
I do think that we have patterns in life that get set up when we're really little that we tend to repeat in relationships. And we all know the saying "If it happens once, shame on you; if it happens twice, shame on me."
Today I faced four very important questions:
Can I trust them?
Are they committed to excellence?
Do they care about and respect me?
Do we bring out the best in each other?
Also I asked myself questions, because ultimately I believe the friends we have in life mirror who are. It's not that we necessarily attract them; but we do say yes to them. It's a matter of who you say yes to. It's based upon how we see ourselves as valued!
So today I made the decision to close the book on a friendship, and I know it's important to be clear with the person about my intentions. But, maybe more importantly, it's essential to let them know that I'm ending the friendship because of the way it makes me feel, not because of who they are as a person. I care about this person, but it's really hard to witness what you're going through. I really need to end our friendship. It just doesn't work for me, and what you're interested in and what I'm interested in, isn't the same. This relationship doesn't bring out the best in me. I want them to be really great at handling conflict and to do that they need to focus on themselves.
It makes me sad to imagine life without this person, but I also feel a sense of relief! I already know that I'll be happier to get rid
of the drama, boredom, or other negative feelings that I associate
with this person, so I know its the right thing! Friendships can take as much time and effort as any other kind of
relationship. Today I made the hard choice to let this person go, but it just drains to much of my energy to continue!
God Bless you my friend! I have let you go, but I will always value the good times and wish for you only the best in life!
It can be challenging to recognize the damage caused by a toxic friendship, especially if you've known and cared about the person for a long time. But if you've resolved to be happier and healthier, looking at your relationships is a good place to start.
Some relationships are complex but you have to consider one crucial point: "Am I being honored and am I honoring the person?" Conflict happens when a person is not feeling honored in a relationship. And I think this goes for all types of relationships, whether platonic, romantic or professional.
In a harmful relationship, we may feel the friend is insulting, critical, needy, petty or selfish. A friend may ask for honest advice and then become angry when you deliver it, or do the opposite of what you suggest. A toxic friend may persist in giving unsolicited advice, or talk only about their own life and problems without considering your needs and feelings. Sometimes a friend may burden you with his or her own problems, whether it's job, money, or relationship woes -- but not offer any support in return.
This is so true and I find that their are lop-sided friendships that I need to take a look at!
Because these relationships are draining, it is time to drift from them and move on! There is just no time in my life for the drama. I need the give and take and the balance that relationships give you!
"If every time I'm talking with
someone they are saying things like 'this is awful, this always happens
to me' this is a red a flag of negativity. Certainly, people go
through stuff, and I don't want to drop a friend just because
they're having a rough patch. GOD knows I've had mine, but when there's a consistent negative
pattern, I need to make a change.It turns out the burden of a toxic friendship doesn't just damage your psyche -- it's can be harmful to your long-term health. I read that somewhere! It makes sense! We know that positive people lift us up and negative people bring us down!
I think in my core people, there are three types of friendships that scare me and are unhealthy. Friends who pick fights, friends who compete with me, and friends who are clingy and demanding of too much time and attention. If I find spending time with a certain friend fits one of those descriptions or makes me feel rotten for whatever reason, it may be time to cut that person out of my life. It's time to break that cycle, but nothing about it makes me feel good. Only sad, because I value my friendships and people in general!
I do think that we have patterns in life that get set up when we're really little that we tend to repeat in relationships. And we all know the saying "If it happens once, shame on you; if it happens twice, shame on me."
Today I faced four very important questions:
Can I trust them?
Are they committed to excellence?
Do they care about and respect me?
Do we bring out the best in each other?
Also I asked myself questions, because ultimately I believe the friends we have in life mirror who are. It's not that we necessarily attract them; but we do say yes to them. It's a matter of who you say yes to. It's based upon how we see ourselves as valued!
So today I made the decision to close the book on a friendship, and I know it's important to be clear with the person about my intentions. But, maybe more importantly, it's essential to let them know that I'm ending the friendship because of the way it makes me feel, not because of who they are as a person. I care about this person, but it's really hard to witness what you're going through. I really need to end our friendship. It just doesn't work for me, and what you're interested in and what I'm interested in, isn't the same. This relationship doesn't bring out the best in me. I want them to be really great at handling conflict and to do that they need to focus on themselves.
It makes me sad to imagine life without this person, but I also feel a sense of relief! I already know that I'll be happier to get rid
of the drama, boredom, or other negative feelings that I associate
with this person, so I know its the right thing! Friendships can take as much time and effort as any other kind of
relationship. Today I made the hard choice to let this person go, but it just drains to much of my energy to continue!God Bless you my friend! I have let you go, but I will always value the good times and wish for you only the best in life!
